And I did it … I lost my opportunity

by AAYIESHACHUGHTAI

I still remember that day it was one of heavy monsoon season and rain was on. I texted her and asked her not to text/call me back. And I don’t need her anymore. She is happy in her life and i am happy in mine. So i don’t think this relationship would be better in upcoming years because it is long distance relationship and we haven’t met yet and we both are having hard times in our lives.

I was confused whether she is cheating on me or not. I loved her and I knew she was madly in love with me. But actually I was worried about myself, my future and I was thinking I would never become successful if she would be there with me.

So I chose my future and left her though all my dreams with her were shattered and for so many days I was not being able to live my life. I have remembered that how hard it was for me to survive without her. It was a long distance relationship though but still she was part of my every day. But still I left everything. Stopped taking her phone calls. Blocked her number and never tried to contact her back.

The story continues…..

Well life goes on ! Its been ten years since I got that last text . Later we had some argumentative small phone calls but we never tried to get back together. I often scroll her social media accounts and I am sure she does same.

Its not because we miss each other but for we just assure ourselves that the other person is in trouble and not happy without me. It looks funny but all the warnings and hateful things we have said to each other still hurt me.

We often heard that people who love truly cry most. But in our case the phenomenon went wrong!!

For last some years until I always thought she cheated on me. She was not sincere with me, she broke my heart and left me alone.

From Christianity to Islam: How I became Muslim

I got married

I got married with a girl just because I wanted to show my Ex lover that I am happy without her. It was a good decision. I have a good job a well settled life and I am happy.

Sometimes I remember her name and her words and then I curse her for being a cheater. I still remember her last conversation

She said, ”You will never going to find a lover like me”. You’ll regret over this because you did wrong. No one will be there for you like I was.”

She said she would be waiting to hear that I am not happy after her . Same as I was waiting to see her cry.

Now I am in my early thirties. Every teenager has a love story which he/she leaves unfinished because we all are trapped in between choosing our love life and better future. In our twenties we all somehow think that once we will get successful we’ll get everything.

A person who is loving us is temporary and when we’ll be older we will find a better person who will love us more. Love is just an emotional response . Which we will going to get from some other. We often leave the person who stands by us in our hard times and help us to get our goals.

A person who truly admires our beauty loves us is like an opportunity which only available for once in life and we Always lose it because we think we’ll get better than this.

I reckon why it happened

It happened with me too because I lost my opportunity. Because no one never loved me like her . No one was there for me in my hard times like she was. No one ever appreciates me. Now no one calls me handsome. Now no one loves me like she did .

No one ever asks me if I am okay or not. Or ever hugs me or try to relaxes me when I am depressed. No one is here to love me or wipe my tears ..

Her last conversation hits me very hard right in my chest now I have realized that I am the one who lost everything I am not happy without her. I am the one who didn’t care for her. I am the one who left to be alone and cry!!